Sunday, September 29, 2013

Updates on the pups...

Wow...what a drag that last post was!  I will try to make this one a little more uplifting!  I noticed that I seem to do my better work in the wee hours of the morning instead of the afternoon...clearly afternoons should be reserved for naps and NOT composing new blog posts!

So a brief update on my pups.  I kept the two blonde dogs - Sadie and Addie.  Roxy (the black one in previous posts) found a fantastic home where she is loved and spoiled, and last I heard she was doing very well there!  And I don't have black hair to deal with around the house...another bonus.  Sadie and Addie are so very different from each other and most days they get along like sisters, but they seem to be good friends.

Sadie (6 yrs old now!) seems to be the alpha most days (after me of course!)... she gets fed first, and barges right in and throws her weight around when she really wants something.  She will indeed knock Addie right out of the way to get it.  But she also listens and obeys better, and is the one who is more in-tune with people around her, instead of loving everyone just because they are alive.  She is one dog who can truly hold a grudge.  Not every dog can...especially not lab/golden mixes...but Sadie can!  Sadie was 1 1/2 yrs when I got her off of a farm close to my parent's home.  She had been neglected quite a bit and did not seem bonded to her owners at all.  A few years ago when I was back visiting my parents, we were outside by the car, and Sadie's former owner rode by on a horse with one of her friends.  I could hear them talking together and the girl who had once owned Sadie asked her friend... "Is that Kate?"  (That was Sadie's name before I got her).  They both looked but Sadie NEVER acknowledged them...didn't even look at them, so they rode off thinking it must not have been her.  Here's what I know about Sadie... She ALWAYS knows who is around her, and doesn't just ignore people.  She usually looks and barks if she wants to.  The fact that she did not even look at them is more telling than anything else.  Yes, she knew exactly who they were, and she did not like them.  She was, however, very interested in saying hi to the dog who was with them, whom she seemed to recognize.  It really made me wonder if it was one of her puppies.  But when they left, and their dog followed them, she did not, but stuck very close to me instead.


Addie, on the other hand, is all dog...she is 4 years old now, and while she is starting to turn white around her mouth and eyes, she still acts like a puppy!  She has the sweetest body waggle that she can't contain when someone she loves comes over!  She is happy to be alive, loves everyone who looks at her, and is my stubborn little drama queen.  She is accident prone sometimes (maybe because she doesn't think of consequences like Sadie seems to), so when I have her out on the mountain and she runs like crazy, she also comes home with injured pads on her feet, and sore muscles that make it impossible for her to pee for a period of time (24 hours being the longest so far).  She is a bit OCD, and likes patterns and things a certain way.  She likes to "walk" herself by carrying her own leash if I will let her.  She also likes a baby (stuffed animal) or bone in her mouth for security when she needs it.  Consequently, she will often be found sleeping with at least 3 or 4 babies all around her.  While she doesn't get the first bone - that goes to Sadie, she is very observant, and waits for Sadie to take her eyes off of her bone for a minute, and next thing I know, Addie has both bones, and Sadie has none.  She will also sleep with them instead of consuming them right away like Sadie does...then she has one later when Sadie is all out of them.  She chases bubbles, light beams, and used to bring snails inside to play with later (thank goodness she got over that after her first year!)...and she loves to play with kids!  I had left them once at my friend's home with their 3 young girls, and when I came back to get them, Sadie came right away.  When I couldn't find Addie, I walked upstairs to see her sitting as one of the members forming a circle, playing dress-up with the kids.  She was wearing a cape, and sitting at a tea-party with them!  She just looked up at me like she wasn't ready to come home yet!  She also plays hide and seek with the can put her on a "sit/stay" and go hide anywhere...then call her when you are hidden and she will look until she finds you.  She's pretty good at it, and absolutely LOVES it!  Anything that keeps her involved with everyone is what she wants to do.

 They are such sweet pups, and have added a dimension to my life that I am thankful for, even with the added responsibility. 

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Most Days...

Most days I am happy to be alive.  I feel productive, useful and energetic, and I recognize that I am blessed beyond measure.

Most days I am settled in my current life.  I recognize that I made a choice years ago to be single when I left my husband, and I knew that decision could mean that I may be single for a very long time...maybe always.  I was happy with the decision, because I was so unhappy with the alternative.  I have never doubted that decision.

Most days I love being alone...I love time to myself, controlling the remote, choosing what I want for dinner, choosing what to do with my time, working on my own projects and cleaning up after myself when I want to.  I like picking my own clothes up off the floor, doing my own laundry, not having to clean the house every single day, and the joy of running to the grocery store and back within 30 minutes!  I even enjoy days sometimes when I don't have to talk to anyone.

Most days I am patient and understanding.  I truly do understand when something comes up, or when a grocery line takes a long time to get through, or when things don't go as planned.  I am resourceful, quick to find alternatives, or patient through the process.  I know what to do and can offer help, knowing that sometimes that is not always what someone needs, and that's ok.  I have no problem standing down and going back to my own plans.

Most days I can do it all, and sometimes even impress myself in the process!

Then there are some days...when I do not feel wanted / needed / loved.  When the burdens of being alone seem to stack up higher than the advantages.  When it seems monumental that the responsibility of providing for myself and my pups financially, emotionally and physically is too much.  When I can't keep the house clean enough and the yard taken care of, when I can't catch up with school work, and when I just don't seem to ever have enough of a break to recover.  When working takes so much energy, and driving takes so much time, and walking the dogs even seems hard.

Some days I feel so completely alone...with no one to talk to or share the burden with at the end of the day.  When I go to the one place that always welcomes me without fail, and find that I feel forgotten even there.  Sometimes on these days I book a massage or hair appointment just to feel the touch of another person, even if I have to pay them.

Some days, the dog coming in and putting her head on my knee can bring me to tears, because I feel like she cares when it doesn't feel like anyone else does.  (This only happens with one of my dogs -- the other one disappears when she can tell I'm sad!  Her life is all about her!)

Some days I just want a friend to talk to, to interact with, to help me not feel so completely alone in the world.

Thank goodness Some Days don't happen very often!!!  Most days I would be embarrassed to post and admit to this...which will probably happen tomorrow!

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Back to School

This time it took almost 3 weeks into the new semester before I started to feel overwhelmed with it all... My other semesters have been pretty easy - minimal homework - etc, so I started this semester really optimistic.  But something about three intense classes that are pretty important - Pathophysiology, Advanced Physical Assessment, and Pharmacology - all at the same time is making me start to feel overwhelmed.

My lawn needs to be mowed, house needs to be cleaned, dogs need to be walked, and I am finding time to put school first.  I guess that's what matters the most right now, and I get the dogs out as often as I can.  The rest cleans up fast when I have a little downtime.

I finally picked the fruit and veggies from the garden today, and got 4 zucchini, 6-ish tomatoes, 2 green peppers, 4 eggplants, and a LOT of strawberries!  Such a blessing to have the garden...I hope I can keep up with it!