Losses and Life

Years ago when I was in my teens, I came across a quote that really struck me, so I copied and kept it.  I do not remember where I found it or who the author is, but here is the quote:

What would I have done differently in my 20's and 30's if I had known then what I know now?  For one thing, I would have laughed more; seen more Laurel and Hardy movies.  And I would have grieved less.  I would have understood earlier that not all losses are permanent and that some things lost were not worth keeping.

I would have taken more time to note the changing seasons.  ("Can you believe it?" an elderly friend asked me one spring day.  "Can you believe that even if I live to be a hundred, I will see all this only 100 times?")

I would have been more daring.  Emotionally daring, that is; in the spirit of Eudora Welty's observation that "all serious daring starts from within."

I would have understood sooner how profoundly satisfying the ordinary transactions of daily life can be:  the perfect cup of morning coffee; the son shouting down "Good night!" from his room; the ginger-colored cat caught napping in a triangle of sunlight.

Over the years, I have lost many things in my life...  I have lost my keys, I have lost money, I have lost weight, I have lost good friends and family, some of whom never knew what they meant to me.  I have lost a few years of pictures and journal entries from a crashed hard drive.  At times I have lost my faith and religion, and my belief that most people really are trying to do their best in this life.  I've even lost my mind a time or two!

Through it all, I have often reflected on the lessons from the quote above, and especially the line that I memorized in my teens:  "I would have understood earlier that not all losses are permanent and that some things lost were not worth keeping."  Through some of my more devastating losses, this has brought me comfort, as I reflect on the hope that line brings.  I often wonder - is this something that will eventually come back to me, or is it something that was not worth keeping, but I had failed to recognize or acknowledge that?  Sometimes we don't know until years later just how much of a blessing some losses can be!  I find great comfort that in the middle of things, it is worth hanging onto that belief that indeed many of these losses do find their way back, and that when they don't, sometimes our lives end up better than if they had!